Saturday, April 19, 2014

Ten Things of Thankful #44-

Ten Things of Thankful

My heart is brimming with gratitude and new purpose. Not sure of where the road will lead, I am driven by curiosity to find out.




A friend of mine had tickets to see Wicked (1) and asked us to tag along. Of course we helped her out. It was GirlyK’s first time, but we know the music by heart. The show was amazeballs!




GirlyK and I went to Cambria on Monday. (2) It is my favorite place in the whole wide world. Grabbed lunch from Robin's From the gateway at Shamel park, to sitting tucked in under a thick marine layer on Moonstone Beach my soul breaths. Often the first thing after the chair is settled and I sit, is tears. With relief my eyes are washed of being brave for so long in this wilderness.


I needed to step back and evaluate.(3) All those writer’s doubts needed to be addressed. Their voices made writing difficult.

Do I have a voice?
Is what I have to say worth telling?
What if telling my healing wounds others?

Good thing is, a purpose is shaping. I can see a freedom to tell my story by shifting my interweb identity a little.

After journaling and meeting up with at twitterfriend, I came home with a full heart. Meeting Elizabeth Esther was surreal.(4) I struggle with reality because as I grew up in Wonderland, reality wasn’t always what you could see, hear, taste and touch. I did well at first. Keeping all the shits together, then…

The snots

Elizabeth was gracious and validating. The whole time was beautifully healing. I want my life to have more amazing moments like that.

On the long drive home, singing Wicked at the top of our lungs, a realization grew in my heart.(5) I need to let go of the fears. I need to be bravely gray in this very black and white city and tell my story. I have all you imaginary friends to make it real for me.


GirlyK is working on some new friendships.(6) We used Tuesday and Wednesday to have them over. They painted shirts, had a nerf war and rode on the boat. My heart warmed as they worked things out together and giggled.





(7) Watson continues to fill our lives with dopey peaceful walks.







This end of the year’s ballet piece is Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. I get to make a Cheshire Cat head for it! (8) I’m so excited to do a paper mache piece for myself.




We attended a Maundy Thursday service.(9) The focus for this Lent was to be open to a new church experience. The whole season has new meaning for me. Millstones of shame I’ve carried around on my neck are melting away. Each moment I place myself in that community of Jesus followers I feel less alone in a faith based on grace.

Ase went with me for Good Friday. (10)The beautiful readings and songs shifted focus from “YOUR sin put Jesus on the cross” to “God wanted a way to free humanity from the bondage of falling short. In love Jesus put himself on the cross.” 

22 comments:

  1. You are recording some amazing strides here! I am so happy you are moving through some tough times/experiences. I recently wrote out a series of events that was very formative and damaging for my family. The support I received from this group of bloggers was beautiful and healing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you. There is so much healing and hope I hold within my heart. The hardest part is figuring out how to share it without compromising others. Sharing is caring, right?

      Delete
  2. Wicked is hands down my favorite show. I would love to see it again- the music, the costumes… have you read the book?!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have it on my shelf. For whatever reason I am in a reading slump right now. Just not in the mood for it. I know I need to just get on with it. I am looking forward to it.

      Delete
  3. Cheshire cat is one of my all time favorites , I cant wait to see him finished! Wicked was a really good read but I have a hard time imagining it as a musical. I will have to go see for myself I guess.

    It takes a lot of bravery to be grey in a black and white world ... especially when it pertains to "putting yourself out there..." That was one of the really frightening things for me in doing a larger scale piece of writing but he support was really amazing... people want you to do well... dont imagine all your friends out here are imaginary...we often have a lot more support than we know because we never ask.. but when we do we are often shocked at the positive response...I wish I could learn this one consistently!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I read an interview with the author of Wicked. He said once he heard the music he knew it would be alright. I've heard it is different than the book, but each time I see it I love it more.

      Many of my concrete friends here in the real world are shifting in their life paths. My kids refer to my interweb friends as imaginary- and truer friendships I haven't had in a long time. I am excited about how what I have to say will be received in the big wide world. It's the home front repercussions that make me a bit nervous. As an emotional orphan, my family are the friends I make, Counting Mutant and the kids. Where I came from is a time and place long lost. Thanks for the encouragement.

      Delete
  4. Good luck with the cat head!

    I'm glad that having imaginary friends here is as good (or CAN BE) as good in real life, when that happens. Gives me hope that I'll find the same :D

    ReplyDelete
  5. Wow to working out your fears and feelings - that's huge, I think. I started blogging because I felt alone with my son's developmental delays and, through writing and sharing, have really found an amazing community of online friends. Some I've even met in person which is amazing. Hope it's a wonderful week for you!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I was thinking the same thing as Kristi (like that ever happens…. lol)
    but fear is such a huge factor in many of our lives. So much so for me, that I often start the day with the thought/desire/hope to have fear eliminated, at least for the day. On those days when that actually works (not as often as I would like, often enough to believe it is possible), everything is different.
    (seriously) the world that I find is different.
    good luck with the effort.
    clark
    (from imaginary-ville… lol a little kidding seeing how, in the basis of some of the comments, we imaginary people get a little touchy with being reminded of our plane of existence.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As it comes to fear, I've told the kids that being brave is being afraid and doing it anyway.

      I'm feeling lots of love from my imaginary friends.

      Delete
  7. I have never seen Wicked. I've heard it is a great musical. I've read the book and can't understand how it becomes a musical. Clearly I'm not imaginative enough!
    It sounds like the week was full of deep thinking and reflection. I'm glad you are finding a direction to take with your writing, but I'm even happier to hear about your attendance at Holy Week services. They really do help us understand the deep love God has for us.
    Good luck with that cat!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks. If you have a chance to just listen to the music, it might make a little sense. GirlyK and I were quietly humming "Loathing" at the Easter table with extended family and having a giggle.

      I am already looking forward to Holy Week next year.

      Delete
  8. My daughter would give her eyeteeth to see Wicked (wait, she may have given those to the orthodontist already). Someday, I hope to get her there. We'd have to travel several hours to get anywhere big enough to have a performance of it.
    How exciting for you to get to meet a Twitterfriend in real life, and that it was such a moving experience for you!
    And I'm glad that Holy Week services have been so meaningful for you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have heard it is in development for a movie. It's been rumored for a while but then everyone would be able to enjoy the Wicked deliciousness.

      Delete
  9. Whole lotta thankful there! The whole Wicked soundtrack seems especially addictive. Have you been singing it in your head ever since?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is embarrassing how often that soundtrack rolls through my head since I saw it originally-2007 I think... I even sing it in my dreams. On a really bad day it is the perfect therapy.

      Delete
  10. Seems like a whole lot of bloggers I read have been thinking about their writing, their format, etc. Growing pains are OK - it's good to stretch and move and figure out what's next. Glad things are unfolding well for you.

    Holy Week is my hands-down favorite time of the year. Love it. How wonderful to have such a great experience!

    Wicked - have not seen the play, only snippets on the Internet. Doesn't really appeal to me. Maybe because I HATED the book. Just hated it. Only book in my life I did not finish - ugh!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is really why I haven't started the book. From what I hear it is VERY different from the musical. the show nods to the risque but focuses on the major plot points. For now the book sits on my shelf, sometimes innocent ignorance is a good thing.

      Delete
  11. I think you are my new favorite friend/blogger/writer/sister... I absolutely LOVE this. Raw. Genuine. Faith-filled. Grace-filled. Oh yes ma'am. You are refining your purpose- and keep tearing off those heavy weights of sin, sweet sister. I will join you in His Grace!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. WOW! What a thing to see as I get ready to write this week's gratitudes. Thank you.

      Delete

Thanks for visiting the lily pad.