Saturday, January 31, 2015

In the Quiet or Ten Things of Thankful #85

Ten Things of Thankful

Those moments when there are too many words yet not enough?
This is me… practicing gratitudes.
1. Clean food: I am so grateful to have a fall back system in place when my food choices get on the junk food side. Shame set in its’ proper place, and gently eating what is healthy is the best reboot. The first 16 days went very well. My Fibro was calming down. I added a yoga class to the workout regime.
2. A curve ball. My Grandmother died on the 16th. I will be writing more about it this week. Of course it set all the bells and whistles blaring. In having good boundaries in place I was able to navigate the next week eating what I could. It wasn’t clean but it was consistent. I didn’t project feelings as they came I owned them. When PTSD raised its’ head I had the words to comfort it and ride out the storm.
3. A funeral: It was the end of an era.

4. Fog: Here in the Central Valley, we don’t get snow or freezing temperatures. On occasion we will have rain, but mostly we have fog. An inversion of clouds fills up the center of California and it sits there. This blanket of gray flows to the ground at night, then recedes into the sky during the day. Like a theater curtain. Usually it makes me feel like I am suffocating, but at this moment I am just letting it blur the edges. The outside matches the inside.

5 The boys are back in school: They are attending classes AT their respective schools. Both come home happy and with stories of the outside world. It is nice to see some traction happening.
6. A play: Walking away from dance was hard for Ase. Starting over always is. For the last many months he was convinced to never step on a stage again. He thought it would be too painful. Then came along Me And My Gal from a local theater company. Out came the tap and jazz shoes. It is the perfect healing place for him. He said, “I can see myself doing things like this once in a while.”
7. An Anniversary: Mutant and I married 25 years ago this week. I wrote about ithere. You know the clichés: it’s hard work… it wasn’t easy… but I am glad that somehow we’ve made it this far.
 AND I got some pretty flowers in a silver vase. Iris is the flower for 25 years Mutant says.

8. A Craft Day: This time we made terrariums. I’ve wanted to do it for a while and since it is my last year I threw caution to the wind. The kids loved them and our discussion about the water cycle was fascinating.
Photo credit goes to Girly. 
9. In-N-Out: I’ll let Anthony Bourdain explain. I order mine Animal Style, Protein Style. 

10. Little things: Libraries, movies with great sound tracks, sunshine, and a new bright shiny week.

18 comments:

  1. Glad you made it in. So sorry to hear about your grandmother. No wonder you've been struggling. That feeling of 'outside matches the inside'...I get that. Especially today. Well done for making good choices in a time of grief. *hugs*

    Glad that Ase decided to go back to the stage :)

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  2. So sorry to hear about your grandmother. My best to you and your family.
    Happy anniversary to you and your husband. I had no idea there were flowers for certain anniversaries!
    I love a good library...nothing like it. Well, a good old bookstore, maybe. :D
    Have a good week...thoughts and prayers are with you.

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    1. I love the smell of an old bookstore. It holds the scent of treasure.

      I didn't know about the flowers either. Mutant did research and figured it out. It was a nice surprise.

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  3. Number one.... Has ten things all at once and then some...Trickle effect.

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  4. I'm so sorry about your grandmother.

    Congratulations on your anniversary.

    I was at In-N-Out yesterday. Definitely one of the things I like about California.

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    1. In-N-Out is therapy for me!

      And my grandmother... it's complicated. I've been sorry for years.

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  5. I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother. Losing a loved one is never easy. But Happy Anniversary! And yay for libraries--I second that!

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    1. Sometimes saying goodbye is the best thing.

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  6. I'm sorry for your loss.

    The irises are beautiful.
    Happy Anniversary!

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  7. It's sad about your Grandmother. Dealing with loss is painful. The good food choices in times of stress - good for you. I have a difficult time with that. I think those flowers are just gorgeous. We celebrated our 30th this month. I didn't know there was a flower for every anniversary. I love California weather.

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    1. Life with my Grandmother has been sad for a long time. The food choices weren't the best, but I ate.

      Congrats! on you anniversary. I didn't know there were flowers either. Mutant did good.

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  8. Irises have long been my favorite flower. I've grown bearded iris since I was a teen, but the Dutch ones make better cut flowers ;)

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    1. When we lived in Mammoth they would bloom wild among the dandelions. Fields of glorious royal purple. I keep meaning to plant them in the fall then forget. It is nice to have them on my table.

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  9. #4 resonates… not so much in climate as that peculiar mental state/place I can find myself in… edges of the world get indistinct.
    While most times, this (state) can be an advantage (in creativity), there are times when it is a distinct dis-advantage, as when I am trying to move forward or, otherwise out of a place that is not overly beneficial.

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  10. Thanks! That is so validating. Usually I will wrestle with it and force myself into something creatively, but this time I just let it swarm over me.

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