Wednesday, July 10, 2013

About Me: Enchanted Healing-Part 3

Originally posted October 10, 2010

Photo Taken by rollingroscoe
What is the sound of Perfect Peace? 

For some it sounds like the ocean.  For others it is the sound of children laughing or their soft breathing while they sleep.

 At long last heard it for myself; the sound of my own heart healing.

For the first time in my life I had moments where the musings in my head were quiet. I never considered that was possible. My heart’s beat was a complete harmony.  The fear and shame that I wore as I lived in this town evaporated. No longer did I fear a run in with someone who knew me from that dark period of my life.
Photo taken by dhester

That little post about my first date 23 years ago created an iconic moment in my life. 

It started on, September 18, 2010.  I posted the beginning of my relationship with The Mutant. He remembered and was excited about our first date anniversary more than our wedding anniversary. A few hours later I noticed that a friend of mine on Facebook "friended" the Him from the essay. 

As the week progressed, I received a messaged that he posted my piece on his wall. Curious, I took a peak at his wall, not stalking, just a quick look. He referenced unanswered prayers along with the link. 

This Him, who was caught in horrible crossfire, prayed for me?

I began pondering what action to take. A second post was written not only as a story, but also a public apology. I was publicly ugly, it only seemed right. What followed was even more amazing. 

He read it. 

Photo taken by bosela
He wrote me, relieved to understand what happened. Then he offered the gift of forgiveness. I struggled for 23 years to forgive myself. How could I face those who knew both of us at the time and stayed loyal to him? I was able to pardon myself which granted me a certain amount of peace. True freedom escaped me though.

On this day, he released me. His life was good. Where we were exactly where we were meant to be.
I felt the shattered pieces of myself reverse. The shards connected and a new heart melted together.  It looked like stain glass, noticeable lines where the glass was glued back together. 

I spent the next few days living within the rewinding movie explosion. All the lost pieces of myself pulled together because of a new gravity. As the healing continued, it looked like a piece of Venetian Glass. Instead of the imperfections and scars being held together with metal, beautiful blends of colors and textures melted together. A complete, whole and beautiful new heart was mine. 

A Mother Life

1 comment:

  1. forgiveness is a very powerful thing. Thanks for hooking up to the Hump Day Hook Up


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