Grace Is New Every Morning

Originally posted on January 7, 2013

Stalled. I insert the key, turn with hope and hear the engine grind and pop. No ignition.

It is the New Year. Social feeds are engorged with New Year's resolutions. How to pick them. How to fulfill them. How to ignore them. I on the other hand feel stuck.

For a week now I have mused the topic. Old lists materialize in my mind: Create a working schedule for cleaning the house. Figure out regular times of worship with The Creator. How to save dinner so all of us can sit at a table and touch base about our individual days. Clean up my food. Loose 10 pounds. The response to each problem is static.

I am now in a transition. My oldest, Austin, has his license. For a year and a half now he has his own schedule. His own entrances and exits. Many times Zachary, the second son, is with him. Other times, I drive Zachary has his own agenda needs to be fulfilled. Kacey, the tag along girl, has a merging life of her own. No longer does she follow her brothers around, she is finding her own call and purpose.

I reflect on Christianity's agenda for women as inspiration. I slap into another wall of dryness. As an empty nest looms, my purpose is undefined. Long gone are the days when the kids' schedule was under my command. Dinner could be timed. The house cleaned on schedule. Bed time controlled.

I pray for them all. I push through chronic illness to keep it running smoothly. Laughter is present. Listening is active. On the slippery side, dinner is often self-fetched. The house is tidy with littered corners. Here I sit now, with a dog curled up in my jacket because she is cold, sharing my heart's struggle.

With The Loving Creator, New Year doesn't exist. "But in my mind I keep returning to something, something that gives me hope- that the grace of ADONAI is not exhausted, that his compassion has not ended. (On the contrary,) they are new every morning! How great your faithfulness!" Lamentations 3:21-23

I am brought back to what matters. His call for me in today. My personal normal. Meals need to be better planned-I know he has a plan for that. If I listen to the still quiet voice instead of my own static the plan will be made clear. Everyday is an opportunity for change. Waiting for the first day of school, New year or the beginning of spring is redundant. Today can be my beginning. My moment to change the flow. If the Creator's grace can be new for me every morning, then the grace I extend myself can be likewise.