Quarantine Sunshine Part 1

This is a really rough season on all of us. I felt like we were stuck in the Muppets Treasure Island scene, where the ship is stuck in the doldrums. Just like the seafaring Sailors of old dealt with it all the time. 

The wind would stop. 

The ship would stall, and the only thing the sailors could see for miles around was the ocean horizon. 

The human brain is engineered for connection and learning. To be trapped in the same environment for days or even weeks to months on end traps our biology in a hell of our own making. These poor sailors would cope by telling tales, and sometimes by seeing mythological creatures like Mermaids that would call them into the sea.

Sailors, feeling trapped and helpless, looking for connection, novelty and adventure would jump into the sea deceived by their own delusions. They believed their feelings over the facts of the situation they were in. 

Muppets Treasure Island, of course, has a brighter solution. The instruments come out and they all sing a song. The fantastic musical number is complete with a conga line! 

During the Homeschool years, often the four of us would be stuck at home. Either I was having a fibromyalgia flare, stuck in the Mom taxi driving kids to their usual round of commitments, or a kid or two was ill with the current trending virus. Sometimes, the weather would be a factor.

All of us cooped up.

Feeling trapped. 

As if we couldn’t go anywhere. 

Arguments would start. Tempers would shorten. Problems would magnify.

My antidote? 

Play.

We would start with a list of possibilities. Things I knew we were able to do. They could be preposterous. However, if we really wanted to do them it was possible.

This list of fantastical things then became a brainstorm of How To accomplish those things: 

Blanket Fort

Ice cream for Lunch.

Picnic on the floor

Movie 

Walk outside

Wear a crown.

Call a friend

Raid the pantry and look up recipes for the ingredients you have.

We mixed the Fun with a list of To-Dos. Music was our measurement of time. We would race to finish the Job, THEN the game began.

Now the kids are adults, I practice the same thing for myself. Sometimes it is just a song or a single task with a fun To Do at the end. It is a Practically Perfect in Every Way Self Care Habit. 

 

For daily practice, to keep my sour attitude in check, I keep track of what I am grateful for. I either keep a journal, a jar with a stack of paper. Anytime something good happens, no matter how small, I write it down and put it in the jar. When I am feeling disconnected and melancholy, I look through the journal or reflect on what is in the jar. 

Sometimes I need a little bit more. The Isolation feels overwhelming and no matter what I “do” to lift my own mood, I plummet like a lead balloon.

I begin to the Big Practices out to deal with myself.

First, I remind myself:

Feelings aren’t facts.

Just because I feel

Lonely

Isolated

Disconnected

Abandoned

Trapped

Held hostage

On the edge of economic collapse

Facing financial ruin, etc.

It doesn’t mean I am. I take a step back from what I am feeling and make a list of the facts of the situation I am in.

Fact:  

A highly contagious respiratory flu virus. 

So new, science is having a hard time collecting data about it. 

New discoveries are being made every day.

It is difficult to treat.

It is unpredictable.

It could kill my neighbor.

The medical system is asking that I help stop the spread,

Fact:

Staying home and protecting myself WHEN I go into public is a service to my neighbor and myself.

When I take a step out of my feelings and look at facts, I am able to put my feelings in perspective. This allows me to ask the right questions: 

What do I need? 

I need connection

How can I get what I need?

Make a phone call/facetime.

Write a letter.

Start a theme, photo, favorite song, movie, etc.  on social media to get people talking.

Check in with neighbors and add their items to my list when shopping. This simplifies community marketing visits. Check in with your neighbors. See who is vulnerable and offer to run errands for them.

For those of you who are well and wouldn’t put anyone at risk of exposure, look into volunteering in our community. 

These are small practices that ease daily tensions. Tune in tomorrow for my Big Practices that I use to anchor me in long, agonizing seasons like the one we are in.

Quarantine Sunshine Part 2

Our emotional health in the situation of Chronic Isolation, Social Isolation or Quarantine is important. Another HUGE challenge is how to anchor ourselves in this monotonous loop of time.

Have you ever wondered:

Have we as a Human Race always been this way?

Why do we even have a calendar or a clock?

For Centuries the Human Race measured time by an intrinsic rhythm. Different cultures, villages, people groups, even our pioneers created their own systems of tracking time as a community. At that time individuals of the community produced products at home then traded with others for mutual benefit. Communities agreed on systems based on the seasons and for an ability to relate with one another. It was all cooperative. 

The initial wave of The Black Death hit the world in 1361. The last outbreak of The Black Death in 1665–66 created a final shift in how we did things. As farms stood empty, famine was rampant. The economy was devastated because of the massive loss of life. People gathered together to create a solution. Villages formed into Cities and the services of the Local Tradesmen became obsolete as their product became mass produced. 

This created room for a revolution. An Industrial Revolution. 

Necessity was the Mother of Invention and birthed machinery. Which provided jobs. This, in turn, created a more affordable product. More products needed more workers, this created more jobs. Away the Revolution went!

Of course, it was destructive to the surviving status quo. Farmers revolted against factories. Tradesmen attacked laborers. Over time, the reason to get out of bed and work was no longer intrinsic.

The reason to get out of bed became extrinsic; people left home for a job. The entire cultural motivation shifted from inward to outward. When people finish their careers and retire from this Extrinsic Industrial Machine, they struggle with what we are facing now. 

Stuck at home. No “purpose.” No way to tell the days apart. No motivation to create a What’s Next.  So how to regain this Intrinsic Motivation?

Create our own rhythms.

 Housewives did it for Centuries. I remember how my Grandma talked about the Days of the week:

Tuesday was Garbage Day.

Wednesday was Laundry Day.

Thursday was Market Day.

Saturday was Yard Day.

Sunday was for Church.

Well into her 70s and after quite a few strokes,  according to my Uncle, she was never wrong about what day Tuesday was. It was Garbage Day. She didn’t know much other than that.

For me, when days blurred together, I create a schedule. When the kids were schooling, it was a chart. A timer was used for each subject, when the bell went off we moved on. Some days were more flexible than others. That simple chart and annoying bell created a rhythm for me to mark time in my day.

I have a self-employed Work Schedule now. I am struggling just like you to figure out what works. I schedule the projects like appointments, and yes, I am using a timer.  I do not allow interruptions, just as if I was in an office. My time is mine to do with as I decide is the most productive. Interruptions need to take a number and wait for their turn.

For the Household Chores schedule, I use it to mark the days of the week. Acting like I am working a full-time job in my home, I paced out the house chores. I broke them up into Everyday Morning and Evening. Once A Week, about 4 days, and Once a Month-which is a “swing day” 5. The nice thing about this efficient schedule is if it doesn’t happen this week? Not a problem. I’ll catch it next week. Cleaning doesn’t take me more than an hour to an hour and a half total at most in an entire day.  Remember, there is no right or wrong way to do a schedule. It’s important to figure out what works for you. Where your sweet, comfortable spot of sanity is. 

The great thing about this season of Quarantine is all of the things we get to put into practice now we are able to and take into the future when “life gets back to normal. The practice of  gratitude, community, having your own time, rhythm, and adventure? 

This is what Tenacious Optimism looks like.