Wednesday, July 17, 2013

A Frog's Official Shotgun Rules

As my kids grew beyond the 12 year front seat limit, Shotgun became an issue. As a result of much resarch, these rules were created. This was originally posted on August 12, 2010

Photo taken by  cohdra
Calling "Shotgun" originated in the days of the Wild West. As the Wagon Trains traveled across the plains,
the Driver's job was to concentrate on the horse team and driving. This left the driver and the wagon's occupants susceptible to attacks of stealth. It became necessary to ensure the safety of all for one person to sit next to the driver, with shotgun in hand, to fend off any enemies.

Photo taken by hotblack
Shotgun continues today as a pre-driving ritual. Shotgun should be considered a constantly evolving entity with the purpose of  our better good in society. As the Shotgun position is the most coveted of all positions when traveling in a car, the following rules have been compiled to ensure any passenger of an automobile can acquire shotgun in a fair and equitable manner.

Official Shotgun Rules and Regulations

1. The term "Shotgun" refers to the front passenger seat of an automobile.

2. "Calling Shotgun" is the act of claiming the position of Shotgun for one's self.

3. Driver is The Supreme Being and shall be treated as such at all times in the car.

4. Being as how everyone is created equal, men have the same right as women to the front seat of the car.

5. The first to be picked up is given automatic shotgun, until any shotgun laws are violated or until next destination.

6. Anyone calling shotgun must have their shoes on. Barefooted shotgun calling is strictly forbidden and an automatic Sandwich sitter.

7. The Shot gunner must be in clear sight of the car, and shotgun can be called regardless of whether the driver is in sight of the car.

8. Shotgun cannot be called whilst inside a building. The only exception is a car park, the car must be within sight.-refer to rule 7.

 9. When simultaneous shotguns are called, one throw of rock, paper, scissors decides the Shotgun rider.

10. If driver wants to mix things up Driver can call “RELOAD.”  This means that all previous calls of shotgun are void. The first person to call SHOTGUN gets the seat. A Shotgun only has 2 barrels so RELOAD can only be called once.

11. Shotgunner can be tested. The challenger must call: “CHALLENGE.” The Shotgunner must respond with "ACCEPT." 
The Challenger and the Shotgunner must stand on one foot. 
The driver shouts “GO.”
The two contestants are to hop on one foot around the car. If a person touches both feet to the ground or switches feet during the race, they are immediately disqualified. The first one to touch the shotgun door first receives the Shotgunner title until the next destination.

12. Once shotgun has been called, the contest for the back left and back right can be called. The last seat left is the middle seat or “sandwich.” This seat can also be used for demotion to a poor attituded Shotgun rider.
Shotguner Responsibilities:

1. Once the journey is underway, the driver is the obvious controller of the tunes. However if the driver feels the road full concentration, duty is passed to the Shotgunner. However, putting on crap tunes or other malicious music will result in demotion to sandwich seat.

2. Shotgunner is responsible for navigation and map reading. 

3. Shotgunner is responsible for reading and typing any cell phone texts for the driver.

4. When a car is going through a fast food drive-thru Shotgunner must hold all of the food items/drinks, no matter how hot or cold, until the vehicle is safely out of the drive-thru path. Then they must distribute the items to their owners.

5. The Shotgunner assumes responsibility for all gates opening, toll ticket, change for toll finding and question asking. He/she is the co-pilot and therefore the enforcer of behavior in the vehicle and exacter of slaps/punches/water spraying/bag throwing at the passengers in the back.

6. The privilege of Shotgun does not include the right to correct the driver on their navigation skills or driving ability. If Shotgunner does this, they forfeit their position and are demoted to the sandwich seat.

7. Shotgunner must provide sufficient legroom to the person behind, but only to the point where the shotgunner is still comfortable.

 8. If someone asks "What is shotgun?" The Shotgunner must hand these written rules to them. They must read them and be prepared for a test once the destination is reached.

9. Couple's Rights Act: If the driver is the boyfriend/girlfriend of a passenger in the car, the partner has first choice to any seat in the car. Uncontested. 

10. The Pirate Rule - If One of the potential occupants of the vehicle is dressed (convincingly) as a pirate then they are given automatic shotgun. In the occurrence of more than one pirate then a sword fight shall determine the successful shot gunner.

*Driver/Owner of the car signature(s) to prove that they enforce these rules and must be followed or walk!

A Mother Life

1 comment:

  1. HA! I remember this fight when I was a kid... We no longer have a car so my kids will entirely miss out on the shotgun rite of passage. Sad really.
    Thanks for hooking up to the Hump Day Hook UP, this was funny!


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